My marriage is broken & I pray it will not be fixed! Brokenness is required in marriage. Just like we need to come to Christ with our brokenness so He can save & heal us. I must break my selfish desires... I must lay it all at His feet… I must let go of my pride & humble myself to receive what only God & His Son can do to cure my broken soul. I can only do that for myself… I cannot make my spouse or any other person choose to do that!
I can be a little spunky sometimes. It has pretty much always been this way. I look at things differently. If I played a game, I wanted to win so I always put my all into playing. I tended to be a right fighter… you know, when I know I am right & I am willing to fight to the bitter end, just to prove a point! Not one of my better characteristics! And this of course made me a real gem to be married to, I suppose! Ha! (Luke is such a loving, patient man!)
“I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my Savior, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold. The Lord should be praised. I called on Him, and I was saved from my enemies.” Psalms 18:1-3
God reminded me that He is my Defender… I don’t have to have the last word, because being right has nothing over being righteous. God showed me that even when people hurt me & choose not to do the right thing, I need to choose to rely on Him & let His righteousness fill me.
So the “brokenness in marriage.” The realization that God is more concerned about my righteousness over my rightness was a big change in my marriage! We are human & humans will hurt each other, intentionally or unintentionally… there is a guarantee that it will happen! And the only way to get past the hurt is to break selfish desires, lay down the broken pieces, be humble to forgive even when you feel justified in not. Ask these questions: How much has God forgiven me for? Does His forgiveness make any sense? Yet, He gave His Son to die for each of us! There was no justice in that, but He chose to justify my sinful life! Justification ~ just as if I didn’t sin!
Have you read the book of Hosea? I love this redemptive story! Short version… Hosea’s wife left him to be a prostitute and when he found her, he bought her back! Yes, he paid to get his wife back! He would have been justified in letting her go & moving on with his life, but he was willing to pay the price to forgive her! Please read the book of Hosea… it is a great story of love!
Marriages are taking hard-blows! In fact, all kinds of relationships are being hit pretty hard! Why is that? As Christians, if we spend all our time fighting with each other… holding bitter feelings… not being quick to forgive & letting it go… then we are not fighting our real enemy, Satan.
I will be the first to admit… I don’t have it all figured out! Some days are better than others! What I do know is that we have got to come together as Believers & be willing to pay the price to live a life for righteousness’ sake… not that we will even come close to what we should, but that is where grace comes into play, isn’t it???
I love this quote: “Love, to be real must cost. It must hurt. It must empty us of self!” ~ Mother Teresa
Here is my prayer for my marriage & any of my relationships~
Father, I ask you to break me where I need to be broken. I ask for Your forgiveness where I have hurt or wronged anyone. Help me to see my husband through Your loving eyes. I let go of self & my selfish ambitions. Lord, help me to have a willing heart to forgive quickly. Fill me with a love that goes beyond reason so I will not settle for justice alone. Let me pour out grace & mercy to others as You have done for me. I pray for healing of marriages & lost relationships. In Jesus’ name.
So are you willing to pay the price to be broken??? This Casting Crowns song says a lot:
Rejoicing in Truth!