“Be
of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the
Lord.” ~ Psalms 31:24
This
morning the verses I read were Mark 4:35-41, where the storm comes up &
Jesus is sleeping in the back of the boat. I love the part where Jesus says, “Peace
be still.” That’s it… peace be still! The winds & the waves obeyed! How can
I not do the same when He is asking me to be still (stop striving)???
It has been months of
striving! Striving to get the Inn in order! Striving to get ready for our open
house! Striving to get ready for our ladies retreat! Striving to help get the
new church building ready! So where does that leave me? I did it all for my
love for the Lord… that I am sure of! But what I am not sure of is, should I
have left more time to just be still? In those hurried moments there is no time
to even think about that, but maybe that is because my flesh didn’t want to
take time to think about it! I don’t know!
I have had
this overwhelming feeling of uselessness. I have really been trying to pray
through it, then Sunday
during worship, God showed me that I am here to worship Him… it is not about
me! Woo… ouch! I am making it about me, when it is only about Him! Do I trust
Him enough to let this be enough for now??? He is enough! My worth does not come
from my position or how many friends I have or words of praise from others… my
worth is in Him! It boggles my mind to think about how to make this work right
now! I know one thing for sure, I have to let go of control… I have to trust
Him & be keenly aware of those moments He has for me! I just have to say,
it is so much easier to be “doing”, then to be waiting & observing!
Striving, I know how to do… thriving in the stillness, is totally new to me!
Help me, Lord!
I know so
many people are struggling right now, especially women I know. I must admit
that after the women’s retreat/getaway, I was left empty! Before it, I knew
exactly what God wanted me to speak on. And during it, I prayed constantly! I
was so out of my element… it was all Him! But after, I was so drained… everything
I spoke on came right back at me like arrows to my mind. There were things told
to me that made me question if what I did was right. I felt like because I
shared my heart & what God had asked me to share, I couldn’t trust anyone…
maybe I revealed too much. Instead of drawing me closer to the ladies, I felt
like I was farther away than ever! I know it sounds crazy as I write this, but
I had a couple very dark days, & I had nothing to fight with at that point.
Poor Luke! He did his best to lift me up!
So, I tell
you all this to share something God has shown me through this… when we give all
that we have for a certain project or cause, & we just keep pushing &
pushing, don’t forget to just be still! It is in this stillness Father can
minister to us. It is in the stillness, basking in His Word, that we are fed.
It is in the stillness where we can put on the armor of God. You will never see
a soldier putting on his armor in a moment of frenzy or attack… why? Because it
is too late at that point! It has to be in the stillness where we put on the
belt of Truth, the breastplate of righteousness, shoes to spread the Gospel of
peace, the shield of faith to stop the fiery darts of the enemy, the helmet of
salvation, & the sword of the Spirit (Word of God) (Ephesians 6:10-18)
And one
other thing, when I was going through that horrible time, I felt like I didn’t
even know how to pray or what to pray for… it was when I just threw my hands up
to God that I was able to reach out to a couple very important ladies in my
life to pray for me. We cannot do this alone… now is the time to have those
people in your life… build those relationships, so when something like this
happens, they are there to lift you up!
“As iron
sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
Rejoicing
in Truth!
Carin
