I woke up around 4a.m. & I couldn’t get back to sleep. My brain kicks into gear & then it just swirls from one thing to another… a spiral of anxiety woven very rapidly! I knew I had to get it under control before it went too far, so I began to pray. Lately there have been so many times I really don’t even know what to say when I pray… sometimes all I can say is, “I trust You, Lord.” Sometimes I just say the name of Jesus! There is power in His name! Jesus tells us in John 14:13 that whatever we ask in His name, He will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. For me… just calling out His name brings peace of mind!
In my “grown-up” life I have pretty much always played it safe… although the last 10 years has brought a little more unpredictability at times. I guess that happens when you choose to step-out in faith… our move to Lake City 10 years ago was a big step for me. Then deciding to follow a God-given dream to move to Ludington was a “crazy” giant step! Through these times I never felt unsafe or insecure of the future… not that any of it was easy… hope was always at hand… I could see it, because God had given me a vision for it all!
I am not sure why this business adventure Luke/we are trying to get off the ground is knocking me for a loop! I know my dear hubby has searched for wisdom from God… I believe that Luke will do excellent as a crop consultant… it is perfect for his gifting! So why am I letting fear of the future consume me at times???
I know many people can’t understand why we are doing what we are doing… I don’t understand it either, from a human point of view… and for the most part peoples’ opinions really don’t matter to me! We are both in our 50’s! How crazy is it to start down this unpredictable path???
All of a sudden, I was just wondering why am I writing this & what is the point… but as I’m writing down these thoughts, I am seeing more of what is really going on with me… it all goes back to TRUST! With the B&B God gave me a very clear vision of how it should be… He painted pictures in my heart & mind… it was all very real & tangible to me! With Luke’s business, which he has named “Shining Legends Agronomy”, is all in his heart & mind… I can’t see the vision or even understand much of what he does or how it all works! The only real part I can play in it is to support Luke & trust that he is following what God is guiding him to do!
Oh man! Why does it have to be TRUST???!!! You can’t touch it… you can’t taste it… you can’t hear it… you just have to surrender to it! That is really the only way to have peace of mind! It sounds so easy… but it’s not… it really is not!
I came across something I wrote 4 years ago today:
“PEACE – complete surrender to God’s will; letting His breath breathe life into my soul; trusting completely that God has it all under control, regardless of what it looks like to me… there is no PEACE without faith.
For He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek PEACE and pursue it. 1 Peter 3:10-11”
This is a battle for me… I know God is stretching me & growing my faith. I am not trying to whine… I am just trying to be honest & real… hoping that whoever reads this might get a glimpse of what God has for them through my testimony! I am just a work in progress… I must be because I have big old growing pains!
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, or sword?... Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” ~ Romans 8:35 & 37
Rejoicing in Truth!