I Must Confess...

For the last 10 days I have posted each day with #honoryourspouse on my FaceBook page. I know some people probably don’t get why I did this. I never meant for any of this to come across as braggadocios. But today, August 11, is our 27^th wedding anniversary, so I just wanted to do something a little special. And anyone that knows me, even just a little bit, knows how much I adore my hubby, and how thankful I am for this man God has given me.

I must confess… my actions do not always reflect adoration or thankfulness towards my hubby many times. Just yesterday, something happened or didn’t happen in a situation, and I ended up with hurt feelings. I am the kind of person that uses up a lot of words, whether spoken or written most days… words are important to me. Luke on the other hand… not so much! Water and oil!!! I was not asking anything complicated from him… I just really needed to hear what he thought or what was on his heart about a specific situation. What did I get… nothing! So when I pleaded with him for just a few words, I got, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry??? Sorry for what? I just shut down from the whole conversation, which is probably better than the times I don’t keep my mouth shut!

So last night as I was feeling brokenhearted, I was talking to God… I knew that this little incident was something that the devil would love to make into something big. I was reminded that making a marriage work was not an easy assignment. There are so many married couples being torn apart… and more cases than not, it is a little thing that snowballs into a big thing! It breaks my heart to see families ripped apart! I was also reminded about unconditional love from the Father. I am not always lovable, BUT He always chooses to love me anyway!

As I was getting ready to crawl into bed, I remembered I had not written my #honoryourspouse for the day… REALLY! What did I even feel like writing when I was still wallowing in my emotions??? I dug down deep… asking God what can I write without feeling like a hypocrite??? Here is what came to me instantly:

“August 10... To love is a choice! It's in the hard times emotions can deceive...keep choosing to love! #honoryourspouse”

That pretty much says it all! Our life is far from perfect, but the God who brought us together is… that is how it works! That is the ONLY way it will work! Honor God with your commitment! And honor each other with God’s help in ALL things!

“And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” ~ Ephesians 5:2

Rejoicing in Truth!

Carin

We have such a heart for marriages and because of that we are using our B&B, Shining Light Inn, to be a place for marriage weekends. We have REFRESH Your Marriage Weekend set for September 15-17, 2017. Click HERE for more details.

Our Broken Marriage Saved Us...

My marriage is broken & I pray it will not be fixed! Brokenness is required in marriage. Just like we need to come to Christ with our brokenness so He can save & heal us. I must break my selfish desires... I must lay it all at His feet… I must let go of my pride & humble myself to receive what only God & His Son can do to cure my broken soul. I can only do that for myself… I cannot make my spouse or any other person choose to do that!

I can be a little spunky sometimes. It has pretty much always been this way. I look at things differently. If I played a game, I wanted to win so I always put my all into playing. I tended to be a right fighter… you know, when I know I am right & I am willing to fight to the bitter end, just to prove a point! Not one of my better characteristics! And this of course made me a real gem to be married to, I suppose! Ha! (Luke is such a loving, patient man!)

“I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my Savior, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold. The Lord should be praised. I called on Him, and I was saved from my enemies.” Psalms 18:1-3

God reminded me that He is my Defender… I don’t have to have the last word, because being right has nothing over being righteous. God showed me that even when people hurt me & choose not to do the right thing, I need to choose to rely on Him & let His righteousness fill me.

So the “brokenness in marriage.” The realization that God is more concerned about my righteousness over my rightness was a big change in my marriage! We are human & humans will hurt each other, intentionally or unintentionally… there is a guarantee that it will happen! And the only way to get past the hurt is to break selfish desires, lay down the broken pieces, be humble to forgive even when you feel justified in not. Ask these questions: How much has God forgiven me for? Does His forgiveness make any sense? Yet, He gave His Son to die for each of us! There was no justice in that, but He chose to justify my sinful life!  Justification ~ just as if I didn’t sin!

Have you read the book of Hosea? I love this redemptive story! Short version… Hosea’s wife left him to be a prostitute and when he found her, he bought her back! Yes, he paid to get his wife back! He would have been justified in letting her go & moving on with his life, but he was willing to pay the price to forgive her! Please read the book of Hosea… it is a great story of love!

Marriages are taking hard-blows! In fact, all kinds of relationships are being hit pretty hard! Why is that? As Christians, if we spend all our time fighting with each other… holding bitter feelings… not being quick to forgive & letting it go… then we are not fighting our real enemy, Satan.

I will be the first to admit… I don’t have it all figured out! Some days are better than others! What I do know is that we have got to come together as Believers & be willing to pay the price to live a life for righteousness’ sake… not that we will even come close to what we should, but that is where grace comes into play, isn’t it???

I love this quote: “Love, to be real must cost. It must hurt. It must empty us of self!” ~ Mother Teresa

Here is my prayer for my marriage & any of my relationships~

Father, I ask you to break me where I need to be broken. I ask for Your forgiveness where I have hurt or wronged anyone. Help me to see my husband through Your loving eyes. I let go of self & my selfish ambitions. Lord, help me to have a willing heart to forgive quickly. Fill me with a love that goes beyond reason so I will not settle for justice alone. Let me pour out grace & mercy to others as You have done for me. I pray for healing of marriages & lost relationships. In Jesus’ name.

So are you willing to pay the price to be broken??? This Casting Crowns song says a lot: 

Rejoicing in Truth!

Carin

My Marriage is Broken...

My marriage is broken & I pray it will not be fixed! Brokenness is required in marriage. Just like we need to come to Christ with our brokenness so He can save & heal us. We must break our selfish desires… we must lay our all at His feet… we must let go of our pride & humble ourselves to receive what only God & His Son can do to cure our broken souls.

I can be a little spunky sometimes. It has pretty much always been this way. I look at things differently. If I played a game, I wanted to win so I always put my all into playing. I tended to be a right fighter… you know, when I know I am right & I am willing to fight to the bitter end, just to prove a point! Not one of my better characteristics! And this of course made me a real gem to be married to, I suppose! Ha! (Luke is such a loving, patient man!)

“I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my Savior, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold. The Lord should be praised. I called on Him, and I was saved from my enemies.” Psalms 18:1-3

A few years back God reminded me that He is my Defender… I don’t have to have the last word, because being right has nothing over being righteous. God showed me that even when people hurt me & choose not to do the right thing, I need to choose to rely on Him & let His righteousness fill me.

So getting back to the “brokenness in marriage.” The realization that God is more concerned about my righteousness over my rightness was a big change in my marriage! We are human & humans will hurt each other, intentionally or unintentionally… there is a guarantee that it will happen! And the only way to get past the hurt is to break your selfish desires, lay your broken pieces down, humble yourself to forgive even when you feel you are justified or not. How much has God forgiven you for? Did His forgiveness make any sense? Yet He gave His Son to die for you! There was no justice in that, but He chose to justify my sinful life! Justification ~ just as if I didn’t sin!

Have you read the book of Hosea? I love this redemptive story! Short version… Hosea’s wife left him to be a prostitute and when he found her, he bought her back! Yes, he paid to get his wife back! He would have been justified in letting her go & moving on with his life, but he was willing to pay the price to forgive her! Please read the book of Hosea… it is a great story of love!

Marriages are taking hard-blows lately! In fact, all kinds of relationships are being hit pretty hard! Why is that? As Christians, if we spend all our time fighting with each other… holding bitter feelings… not being quick to forgive & letting it go… then we are not fighting our real enemy, Satan.

I will be the first to admit… I don’t have it all figured out! Some days are better than others! What I do know is that we have got to come together as Believers & be willing to pay the price to live a life for righteousness’ sake… not that we will even come close to what we should, but that is where grace comes into play, isn’t it???

“Love, to be real must cost. It must hurt. It must empty us of self!” ~ Mother Teresa

Here is my prayer for my marriage & any of my relationships~

Father, I ask you to break me where I need to be broken. I ask for Your forgiveness where I have hurt or wronged anyone. Help me to see my husband through Your loving eyes. I let go of self & my selfish ambitions. Lord, help me to have a willing heart to forgive quickly. Fill me with a love that goes beyond reason so I will not settle for justice alone. Let me pour out grace & mercy to others as You have done for me. I pray for healing of marriages & lost relationships. In Jesus’ name.

So are you willing to pay the price to be broken???

Rejoicing in Truth!

Carin