My marriage is broken & I pray it will not be fixed! Brokenness
is required in marriage. Just like we need to come to Christ with our brokenness so He can save & heal us. I must break my selfish desires... I must lay it all at His feet… I
must let go of my pride & humble myself to receive what only God & His
Son can do to cure my broken soul. I can only do that for myself… I cannot make
my spouse or any other person choose to do that!
I can be a little spunky sometimes. It has pretty much
always been this way. I look at things differently. If I played a game, I
wanted to win so I always put my all into playing. I tended to be a right
fighter… you know, when I know I am
right & I am willing to fight to the bitter end, just to prove a point! Not
one of my better characteristics! And this of course made me a real gem to be
married to, I suppose! Ha! (Luke is such a loving, patient man!)
“I
love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my
Savior, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the strength of
my salvation, my stronghold. The Lord should be praised. I called on Him, and I
was saved from my enemies.” Psalms 18:1-3
God reminded me that He is my Defender… I don’t have to have the last
word, because being right has nothing over being righteous. God showed me that
even when people hurt me & choose not to do the right thing, I need to
choose to rely on Him & let His righteousness fill me.
So the “brokenness
in marriage.” The
realization that God is more concerned about my righteousness over my rightness
was a big change in my marriage! We are human & humans will hurt each
other, intentionally or unintentionally… there
is a guarantee that it will happen! And the only way to get past the hurt is to
break selfish desires, lay down the broken pieces, be humble to forgive even
when you feel justified in not. Ask these questions: How much has God forgiven
me for? Does His forgiveness make any sense? Yet, He gave His Son to die for
each of us! There was no justice in that, but He chose to justify my sinful
life! Justification ~ just as if I
didn’t sin!
Have you read the book of Hosea? I love this redemptive
story! Short version… Hosea’s wife left him to be a prostitute and when he found
her, he bought her back! Yes, he paid to get his wife back! He would have been
justified in letting her go & moving on with his life, but he was willing
to pay the price to forgive her! Please read the book of Hosea… it is a great
story of love!
Marriages are taking hard-blows! In fact, all kinds of
relationships are being hit pretty hard! Why is that? As Christians, if we
spend all our time fighting with each other…
holding bitter feelings… not
being quick to forgive & letting it go… then
we are not fighting our real enemy, Satan.
I will be the first to admit… I don’t have it all figured out! Some days are
better than others! What I do know is that we have got to come together as
Believers & be willing to pay the price to live a life for righteousness’
sake… not that we will even come
close to what we should, but that is where grace comes into play, isn’t it???
I love this quote: “Love,
to be real must cost. It must hurt. It must empty us of self!” ~ Mother Teresa
Here is my prayer for my marriage & any of my
relationships~
Father, I ask you to break me where I need to be broken. I
ask for Your forgiveness where I have hurt or wronged anyone. Help me to see my
husband through Your loving eyes. I let go of self & my selfish ambitions.
Lord, help me to have a willing heart to forgive quickly. Fill me with a love that
goes beyond reason so I will not settle for justice alone. Let me pour out
grace & mercy to others as You have done for me. I pray for healing of
marriages & lost relationships. In Jesus’ name.
So are you willing to pay the price to be broken??? This
Casting Crowns song says a lot:
Rejoicing
in Truth!
Carin
