Trade-In...

I find myself taking my life for granted too often... it is not a pretty picture of the women I know I was created to be. I do have the best husband in the world (for me)! I don't say that to brag or cause envy... I say it because it always hasn't been this way, or rather I didn't

always see it this way.

For the first few years of our marriage… it was a different story. Oh, we were happy! We got along good, but there was always something in me that wanted more… wanted him to change to suit how I thought things should be! Little did I know back then… it wasn’t him that needed to change it was me!

I was reminded of a conversation (wrestling match) I had with the Lord about trading my expectations for who I wanted my husband to be for me, to live with trust in God for who He would bring Luke to be for Him! Trading my expectations in for a life of expectancy in God!

Things did change… radically change… the change was in me, in my heart! When I surrendered my expectations it freed me up to pray for my husband in a whole different way. To be perfectly blunt… God had shown me that He (God) did not need me to butt my nose into His business… He was more than qualified to handle anything that needed handling with my hubby!

So let me ask you, do you pray for your husband? Do you have a long list of things you want God to change in him… a “shopping list” of sorts? What would happen if you started to pray for your husband from a point of expectancy and not a point of expectation??? Wonder what the difference is… “expectation” is having a certain outcome in mind; while “expectancy” is from a heart of hope, releasing the outcome from any expectation.

You know Father God sees your husband in a total different light than you! He sees him for who He (God) created him to be. We all have flaws and sin… we are all human after all, but no matter what God has a plan!  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope.” This verse is speaking to you, but it is also speaking to your husband.

Maybe life isn’t where you want it to be. Maybe your husband isn’t even a Believer yet. Don’t give up! Give in! Give in to let God do the work on your heart and his! Ladies, we need to treat our husbands and pray for them from a point of where God knows they can be and not where we think they should be. Isn’t that what praying and believing is about? Praying over your man with faith!

Now go to Psalms 1:1-3, in your quiet time begin to pray these words over your husband or future husband if you are not yet married. Blessed is (your husband) who walks not the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the path of sinners, not sits in the seat of the scornful; but (your husband) delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law (your husband) meditates day and night. (your husband) shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever (your husband) does shall prosper.

The change can start in your heart immediately, but be patient… keep trusting the Lord! There are great things in store! Believe it!

Dear Lord, I lift up every person reading this to You… may they find the joy that comes from trusting You completely! I pray against the attacks on marriages, fill them up with Your grace and Your power. Help them to show the grace and mercy to each other as You have shown to us, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Rejoicing in Truth!

Carin

Our Broken Marriage Saved Us...

My marriage is broken & I pray it will not be fixed! Brokenness is required in marriage. Just like we need to come to Christ with our brokenness so He can save & heal us. I must break my selfish desires... I must lay it all at His feet… I must let go of my pride & humble myself to receive what only God & His Son can do to cure my broken soul. I can only do that for myself… I cannot make my spouse or any other person choose to do that!

I can be a little spunky sometimes. It has pretty much always been this way. I look at things differently. If I played a game, I wanted to win so I always put my all into playing. I tended to be a right fighter… you know, when I know I am right & I am willing to fight to the bitter end, just to prove a point! Not one of my better characteristics! And this of course made me a real gem to be married to, I suppose! Ha! (Luke is such a loving, patient man!)

“I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my Savior, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold. The Lord should be praised. I called on Him, and I was saved from my enemies.” Psalms 18:1-3

God reminded me that He is my Defender… I don’t have to have the last word, because being right has nothing over being righteous. God showed me that even when people hurt me & choose not to do the right thing, I need to choose to rely on Him & let His righteousness fill me.

So the “brokenness in marriage.” The realization that God is more concerned about my righteousness over my rightness was a big change in my marriage! We are human & humans will hurt each other, intentionally or unintentionally… there is a guarantee that it will happen! And the only way to get past the hurt is to break selfish desires, lay down the broken pieces, be humble to forgive even when you feel justified in not. Ask these questions: How much has God forgiven me for? Does His forgiveness make any sense? Yet, He gave His Son to die for each of us! There was no justice in that, but He chose to justify my sinful life!  Justification ~ just as if I didn’t sin!

Have you read the book of Hosea? I love this redemptive story! Short version… Hosea’s wife left him to be a prostitute and when he found her, he bought her back! Yes, he paid to get his wife back! He would have been justified in letting her go & moving on with his life, but he was willing to pay the price to forgive her! Please read the book of Hosea… it is a great story of love!

Marriages are taking hard-blows! In fact, all kinds of relationships are being hit pretty hard! Why is that? As Christians, if we spend all our time fighting with each other… holding bitter feelings… not being quick to forgive & letting it go… then we are not fighting our real enemy, Satan.

I will be the first to admit… I don’t have it all figured out! Some days are better than others! What I do know is that we have got to come together as Believers & be willing to pay the price to live a life for righteousness’ sake… not that we will even come close to what we should, but that is where grace comes into play, isn’t it???

I love this quote: “Love, to be real must cost. It must hurt. It must empty us of self!” ~ Mother Teresa

Here is my prayer for my marriage & any of my relationships~

Father, I ask you to break me where I need to be broken. I ask for Your forgiveness where I have hurt or wronged anyone. Help me to see my husband through Your loving eyes. I let go of self & my selfish ambitions. Lord, help me to have a willing heart to forgive quickly. Fill me with a love that goes beyond reason so I will not settle for justice alone. Let me pour out grace & mercy to others as You have done for me. I pray for healing of marriages & lost relationships. In Jesus’ name.

So are you willing to pay the price to be broken??? This Casting Crowns song says a lot: 

Rejoicing in Truth!

Carin

LOVE...

(WARNING: I am just being real and honest in this post! If you have never struggled with LOVE then you need to stop reading this note.) *Ü*

LOVE for others.  It is easy to LOVE people that I see as lovable, but not so easy to LOVE those that are getting on my nerves.  I know that isn’t right! I have to remember I don’t know what is going on in others’ lives. God, forgive me for my aggravation towards those people I see as just plain wrong… please help me to see beyond what they are doing and just see who they are and how You LOVE them. It is not what they do… it is who they are.

I can point my finger all I want but that makes me no different than I am accusing them of being. 

Recently, I watched the movie, “The Shack”… I read the book years ago and got so much from it… I know there is a whole controversial thing going on with some believers… I am not addressing that here. What I do want to share with you is this one part of the movie where Mack, the main character, goes into a cave, and he has a conversation with a woman named, Wisdom. This really impacted my heart of how I choose to LOVE others. Such a great reminder that I have no right to judge peoples’ actions… rather showing grace… showing compassion… showing LOVE! I have no idea why a person may be the way they are… what they may have been through. It is not saying it is okay, but it is saying I LOVE you in spite of it… just like Christ did for me.

“Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same LOVE, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” ~ Philippians 2:2-4

Those words, “selfish ambition,”… what does that mean for me? To LOVE someone with a pure heart…. not because I expect anything in return… not to make myself look better… just out of LOVE. Lord, if anything I have done or spoken for selfish reasons… I ask Your forgiveness. Help me to see others through Your eyes. Cleanse my heart of anything that is not of You.

I am reminded of what LOVE is… patient, kind, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes, hopes, endures all things. 

I am also reminded of what LOVE is not… envious, jealous, boastful, arrogant, conceited, prideful, rude, unbecoming, wants its own way, selfish, resentful, touchy, offended, rejoices in someone else’s problems… LOVE is not failing! 

The only real and true thing we can have in our life is LOVE… that is the only sure thing… real LOVE … LOVE that comes only through Christ living in us and through us.  When I look at the list of what LOVE is and isn’t with human eyes, my first thought is, “I am sunk!”  But because of God sending His only Son to die for my sins and to redeem me… that is an incredible example… the only real example of true LOVE.  Having Christ in me is the only way I can even start to LOVE others… when someone is annoying me or I just don’t like what they are doing or understand the choices they are making… it is then I need to dig down deep and let Christ’s LOVE live through me.  It is a choice to LOVE… it is a choice to give God the control… it is a choice to see people for who they are and not for what they do.

“So faith, hope, LOVE abide, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13

I pray that my life will be used for God’s glory… that people will see Him in my face even before I open my mouth.  My hubby & I went through the LOVE Dare devotional and the prayer that came from one of the “dares“ was “Lord, teach me what real love is and make me a loving person.”  It is unbelievable that simple prayer prayed daily or a couple times a day can have such an impact.  I dare you to try it for a week.

If you made it to the end of this note, please LOVE me for who I am and not for what I do, and I will do the same for you.  Also, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on LOVE in your life.

Rejoicing in Truth!

LOVE, Carin